Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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