I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
