it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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