Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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