Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
