Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
