Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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