Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
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It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
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Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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