Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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