Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
