How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
