Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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