i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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