I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
