I'll bet she douches with gravy.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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