i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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