tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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