if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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