I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
