Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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