New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
