A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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