you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I wish there were birth control emojis
You are a booty call, not a friend.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
