he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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