It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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