You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I think I died a long time ago.
I want to make a zoo with you.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
