i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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