I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
