No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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