I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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