We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
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I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
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He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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