Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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