i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
