bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
