She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
