Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
