Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
