I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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