I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Less talking, more tequila
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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