i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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