after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
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