do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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