Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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