two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
