Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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