My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
