I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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