I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I just gargled with NyQuil
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
