69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
