Dual....:-)
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i love accidental penises.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
