I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
