dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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