i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
