i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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