and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
