I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
