You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I pour the whiskey from now on
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
My feet surprised me
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