Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
