As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
