I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
