I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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