so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize