Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
