First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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