I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
