we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
