I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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