So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
