Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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